This is a post by a friend of mine who wrote this and asked me to post it, as he has no blog of his own.
I’m a half-Mexican, gay, F2M living not to far from a major city in the southwest right now (it’s NOT in California though, so don’t think I’m from San Fran or some gods forsaken place like that), and I’ve been able to spend most of my life passing as male until recently when I became waaaaaay to poor to afford the rather expensive habit of passing. I’ve got more curves than a mountain road, and there’s not a binder on this green earth that can work for me, so unless I’m willing to spend the big bucks that I don’t have there’s no hope for me really. And than of course my boss is Mormon and Chinese so if I wanted to pass as male I’d have to find me a new job ASAP, and at 22 with only a GED in the middle of a recession the odds aren’t looking that great.
But of course you never hear these things from the Trans-Community, because right now it’s all about the cock; who has one, who wants one, and who wants to get rid of theirs. It’s all about passing, and how horrible is it to have/not to have a cock. Every time I go on to a message board or got to a trans-community type deal all I hear is cockcockcockcockcock. And Okay I would like one, and I won’t lie and say I’ve never pulled down my pants to pee expecting my little buddy to be there, and phntom penis issues are a huge thing for me, but if this is a community where’s the support and discussion that’s supposed to happen?
Instead what the Trans-Communtiy really means is Macho F2M’s blaming everything on T and “just being a guy LOL” to M2F’s playing the opression olympics with the same feminists who used to back their causes when they weren’t trying to force the non-issues. Yes I just blamed the M2F’s for their own stupidity, sue me you’ll get a dog brush, maybe the Husky mix it’s used on and that’s about my collective worth right there, since at $10 for the brush, and $70 for the dog those are the most expensive items I own.
I’m neither of those so the few times I’ve been to trans-only spaces in real life I’ve either felt uncomfortable due to everyone holding classist and mysoginistic ideologies, and insulting me for not (too young, well I’m not on T yet so I’m still thinking with my WOMAN Brain, etc…), or they’ve been all M2F and I was the one always getting questioned about EVERYTHING I did, basically it was like being a woman in a room of men.
And really that’s the problem with the trans-community, it’s been taken over by a bunch of bigots claiming opression, and how they’re opressed more than everyone, and how no one understands so anyone claimning to be opressed is a bigot. You’re a racist if you claim that Native American are more likely to be raped and/or beaten than an M2F, you’re a misandrist if you say that those raised as boys and men feel and act like they are allowed certain privileges because that’s what culture does to you, and you’re a ugly man hating lesbian feminist, who’s also a gender essentialist if you think that the gender dichotomy is socialized and not natural. EVERYONE IS A BIGOT BUT ME!!!!!
Now let’s not mention that it’s really rather gender essentialist to say things like “The women who took on men’s jobs during WWII were trans men.” or saying that you were born a specific gender and that you can never be anything but that gender and it must be either man or woman, exclude all the many other forms of gender and is thus gender essentialist. And then of course there’s the whole homophobia thing even though us transpeople love to invoke the LGBT community whenever we want to say how bad our oppression REALLY is. Oh and than there’s the fun fact that most M2F’s will call themselves feminists while saying all of this.
And a big gripe of mine as a transman is that everything boils down to the M2F’s and those who support them. the F2M’s that get a voice in the community agree with the M2F’s who we are supposed to believe form the bulk of the community. And really how can you doubt that M2F’s don’t form the entire Trans-Community when every message board and trans-group you go to is dominated by them and only a small minority are F2M’s, and they’re the only ones that go onto T.V. and talk about how scary it is to be a transwoman (because women never feel the same fear, the fear of a man raping and beating you is only for transwomen), and they’re the ones gay men and straight men gawk at and talk to? M2F’s are the ones that get the acceptance of the popular vote and they are the ones you have to brown nose to if you want to be accepted as liberal and progressive, and open minded.
But of course they are the oppressed ones. They are the ones who go to feminist blogs and tell these women they are wrong on the female experience and that they are the right ones, and that they are the ones who make the issues for the Trans-community. The Trans-Community is fighting for the right of M2F’s to go into women’s bathrooms so they can avoid being hurt by men, but the only advice they have to F2M’s is that they should pass better or use the women’s bathrooms. It’s the transwomen who are going around and telling me and other transmen that they couldn’t understand why we’d want to be men, and calling us misogynist if we say that “well duh that’s why you’re going through all this to be a girl”. It’s the M2F’s that the fun-fems use as a way to say women are women, and men are men, and this is empowering, and it’s the M2F’s who are soaking it up and strutting around like no raised woman female would for fear of someone harming them, or because women are meant to feel ashamed of feeling powerful, and because strutting and saying you’re righter than people who were FORCED to be women is privileged.
But of course all this makes me a transphobe, because saying woman hating things while being a transwoman isn’t transphobic, and talking down about trans people who don’t fit in isn’t transphobic, and fetishizing transexuality isn’t transphobic, but saying “you have some major issues and your shit is wack yo” is transphobic. It’s oppressive to tell people that they must change so as to not hurt others, and that being a raging asshole doesn’t make you right it just means you’re a acting like a dick. Sorry was it too soon?
All of the above and more is why I’m transsexual and refuse to be in the Trans-Community, because the Trans-Community makes me feel bad about being trans and I’m not enough of a culty to stick with a group that wants to destroy me and everyone in its path.